Through my daughter’s eyes

As a child, my mom was perfect. She could do no wrong. Sure we’d fight and I’d get mouthy and say mean things and she’d yell and take away a toy or a privilege. But that would end and I’d be left with the best mom in the world.

She knew how to make boos boos go away. She took me to special mother-daughter breakfasts. She gave me random cards that said how much she loved me. She baked cookies with me and let me lick the spoon. She had the most beautiful smile and an amazing laugh.

About a year ago, I sat on the couch with my daughter watching American Idol. When Jennifer Lopez walked out, she nonchalantly said, “She looks really pretty tonight, but not as pretty as you.”

The other night we were watching the show and I asked her if she remembered telling me that. She said, “Yeah and you’re still prettier than her.”

The truly amazing part is that she really believes it. To my daughter, I am beautiful. I am the best mom in the world. I give the best hugs. I make the best dippy eggs. I’m a great dancer and singer. I do everything perfectly to take care of her when she’s sick. I am the best at all of the things that matter most in her world.

To my daughter, I am not fat. I’m not clumsy. I’m not awkward and socially inept. I don’t have bad teeth or frizzy hair. I’m not tone deaf. It doesn’t matter to her if the house is a little (or a lot) messy. It doesn’t matter to her how much money I make or what kind of clothes I wear.

To my daughter, I’m perfect just the way I am. I am to her what my mom was to me.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. I’ve been thinking about how many of my problems would disappear if I could learn to see myself through my daughter’s eyes.

I have always said that we can learn a lot from our children if we just take the time to listen. I’m trying. I really am.

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16 responses to this post.

  1. allow me to drop a short note :) I am also a mother of two beautiful daughters after waiting for 3.5 years to get the first one and waiting another 5 years to get the second one, I realized that a mother is always perfect through the eyes of their children. It is up to us now as a mom on how to raise our children so that in the years ahead they will appreciate all things we have done for them when they were young. Pardon me for my poor English :)

    Reply

  2. Again, I don’t have the parenting insight, but I remember thinking my mom was the best in the world and in fact, I still do!
    I HAVE noticed that a lot of children are way less judgmental than adults, though and they seem to love a person for more than just money or looks…really little kids will often act like a complete stranger is their best friend if they only give them attention and love…..as adults, we start to be afraid of people if they look or act different.
    I think more of us adults need to learn to look at ourselves and others with the eyes of a young child. Maybe the world would be a better place!

    Reply

    • As an adult, I’m able to look back and appreciate my mom’s shortcomings and see that she was, in fact, human . . . and still, she was the perfect mom for me!

      Kids are awesome . . . I love their honestly, openness, and acceptance.

      “I think more of us adults need to learn to look at ourselves and others with the eyes of a young child.”

      Absolutely!!!

      Reply

  3. Awww, I know exactly what you mean. In fact, Ben told me twice today that I was the best mom in the world. It was so sweet–and when I hugged him and said he was the best “Benny Jets” ever, he whispered, “I love you” in my ear. Not a better moment can I think of. . .

    Reply

  4. You are rasing a really cool kid!

    Reply

  5. Dayle – I love this! You were meant to be your daughter’s mother, and she knows it. This line is so to the heart of it -”I am the best at all of the things that matter most in her world.” I am also amazed of the tiny things that make my kids so happy–I made some of my son’s favorite muffins the other day, and he ate one and sighed a litte happy sigh, and said, “I am so glad I have a mommy who makes good things for me.” Our kids are so wise, sometimes we just need to turn off our own stream of self-criticism and tune in to them. When you’re feeling low, re-reading this post will be a great reminder of all your gifts. -A

    Reply

    • Thank you, Alexandra!

      You were obviously meant to be your children’s mom too! Your son’s comment is so awesome :-) Our kids are wise. I need to keep reminding myself to listen!

      Reply

  6. I remember my mother cleaning the house and singing at the same time – and I remember thinking that she could be on stage w/ the most famous of singers if she wanted. You are right that little ones have so much love in their hearts and they spread it very freely. We all need to do more of that!
    You are my soul mate, though, with your “I am not” paragraph! And as Alexandra says, we need to turn off that steady stream….and re-read this post to figure out what we really are and what really is important!

    Reply

  7. Such a beautiful post. The BEST moms make the BEST dippy eggs. :-)

    Reply

  8. This is a beautiful post Dayle, and it defintiely makes me want to be a Mom someday. And if I ever am, I hope that I’m as good of a Mom as you are. :)

    Reply

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