We were supposed to go to an event at my daughter’s school last night. She was looking forward to it. I was (mostly) looking forward to it. We went last year and had fun. But I kind of wasn’t in the mood for socializing. My boyfriend’s out of town for the week and I fully admit that when it comes to most social situations, I am rather co-dependent. The whole social anxiety blah blah blah. But I made a promise to my daughter and I refused to break it.
As I was getting ready to pick my daughter up from the bus stop, I discovered my “out”. I’d give her a choice. So, when she got off the bus, I asked her if she would rather go to the school event or go out and have a mommy/daughter dinner. As expected, she chose the latter.
A mommy/daughter dinner meant shorter travel time. It meant not getting home nearly as late. It meant one bus instead of two. But, and so much more importantly, it meant time spent with just the two of us – no TV, no computer, nothing to distract either of us from each other. And it was pretty awesome.
We talked about her day at school. She aced a spelling test and a math test today. She had music class and they practiced for their spring play. It’s a play about statues. Hers is Egyptian. We talked about her friends and how everything was going with them. We talked about bullies and how it’s never, ever okay to bully someone . . . and how if she is ever bullied, she should always, always tell a trusted grown-up. We talked about what to do if one of her friends ever bullied someone else.
She’s a pretty smart lil’ kid.
We talked about musical instruments and she said she wanted to play piano. I asked if she wanted lessons. She said she did. I told her it would mean a lot of practicing. She changed her mind. I told her with baseball and soccer and karate going on, I wasn’t going to make her take on anything else, but to let me know if she wanted to.
I told her I could see her Mom-mom Janice in her. I thought about those mother/daughter breakfasts my mom and I would go to when I was a kid. I miss those.
We ate dinner and dessert. She had ice cream with rainbow jimmies. I had carrot cake. I showed her how to tip and told her why we tip and then we left. We played the animal game as we walked to the bus stop. We played the animal game on the bus. We played the animal game as we walked down the street. Before we played, I used my phone to look up animals that started with “X” so she couldn’t trick me this time.
It was just one dinner. We were only gone from the house for about an hour and a half, but it was a very significant hour and a half. I realized that I don’t get a lot of time like this with my daughter. We play games a lot. We go to baseball. We go to school events. We sing songs and dance. We talk while we play games and on the way to baseball and at school events and while we sing songs and dance . . . but we don’t often sit down, just the two of us, and have a conversation.
I need to work on that.