Posts Tagged ‘religion’

10 Mar

A Catholic mother, a gay son, and a used bookstore

Posted by Dayle Lynne in Books, Life. Tagged: , , , , , , .

We arrived at The Book Trader early on a Saturday afternoon and dropped off two bags of paperbacks looking for new homes before making our ways through the narrow aisles in search of our own treasures. I browsed through History, Politics, True Crime, and Education, picking up books, carrying them around, putting them back, and starting all over. Nothing jumped in my lap, nothing called my name.

I climbed the stairs to the second floor and found my first treasure in Science Fiction. I jumped haphazardly through the rest of Sci-Fi and Fiction and Literature. My daughter sat on a chair by the window reading her Pokémon comic book. My boyfriend joined her with his own stack of books. I continued jumping from shelf to shelf.

BooksHold on. I just want to check one more thing.

Oh, wait. Sorry. Two more things. Then I promise, I’m done.

Oops, I lied. Just give me a few more minutes.

And so it went. From Fiction and Literature to Poetry to Horror to Chick Lit.

Okay, okay. I’m done.

And I made my way to the cozy reading corner with my three precious finds. That’s when I spotted the LGBT section in the corner by the window.

This is the last section I want to look through. I SWEAR!

CoverI pulled out my phone and starting scrolling through Goodreads, looking for some of the LGBT titles from my to-read list. I didn’t find any of them. I picked up a few books, thumbed through them, put them back.

Then I picked up A Catholic Mother Looks at the Gay Child by Jessie Davis. This isn’t exactly the kind of book I would seek out, but it jumped out at me because of its pristine condition. Its shiny cover and gleaming pages didn’t seem to belong in a used bookstore. With the exception of the price scrawled on the first page and the personal message on the inside cover, this book looked like it had never been opened.

It was that personal message that drove me to add the book to my pile –

MessageTo Father Jack
Orlando Task Force
God Bless -
Sincerely,
Jessie Davis

I don’t know the significance of that message. I don’t know the relationship between the author and Father Jack. All I know is that this book was meant to be read by someone and yet the binding was never cracked and it was sitting on a shelf in a used bookstore. Someone needed to read this book, this copy and that person would be me.

This wasn’t the most enjoyable book I’ve ever read. The writing isn’t exactly stellar and given our differences in religious beliefs, I didn’t agree with the author’s thoughts regarding other issues (namely sexuality and anything non-Christian). But this book wasn’t intended for me – I’m not trying to come to grips with having a gay child and well, I’m not Catholic. I think Davis comes off a bit preachy, but when I strip that away, this a book about a mom trying to make a difference . . . about a mom trying to help the world, and specifically, the Catholic Church, accept and love her son for who he is, to help them understand that homosexuality is natural and not something a person chooses. And I commend her for that.

I would never have picked this book up from Barnes & Noble. I doubt I’d have given it a second look if it was on a friend’s bookshelf or reading list. The only reason this book made into my hands is because it sat on a shelf in a used bookstore, and I am happy to have given it a home.

10 May

A letter about religion

Posted by Dayle Lynne in Religion, Letters. Tagged: , , , , , .

A few months ago, Jared over at Lick the Fridge called out to his readers and asked them to provide him with inspiration in the form of letters – letters about pretty much anything. So far, it’s been pretty awesome and I’ve enjoyed reading letters from and to all of these people. I’ve also enjoyed participating in the letter-writing project. Below is the first letter I wrote to Jared.

An Overdue Conversation About Religion

Dear Jared,

A few months ago, you wrote a post about religion and I wrote a post about religion. Totally unrelated. We chatted briefly and told each other that we would take some time to discuss the topic more thoroughly, but that never happened. It’s not all that surprising really. We’re grown-ups with kids and jobs and responsibilities and stuff. So I’m taking this letter-writing project as an opportunity for us to have that discussion. Here goes.

I connected to your dad seeking out religion as he was dying. I sought out religion after my mom died. I needed things to make sense. I needed to believe she was “in a better place”. So I think I can at least a little bit understand your dad’s motivation.

I think it started with my mom’s baptism. My mom was never overly religious. We believed in God and in Jesus and I watched bible-centric cartoons on TV sometimes and I asked God to bless my family before bed every night, but we didn’t do church and there was no crucifix hanging in my house. She was raised Baptist, but by the time she would have been baptized, they stopped going to church. I’ve never been told why.

So at 33 years old when she was dying from cancer, my mom decided that she wanted to be baptized. The hospital chaplain came to our house and performed a very beautiful ceremony where she baptized both my mom and my aunt. It wasn’t down-your-throat religion. It was a peaceful, loving, and spiritual ritual. And less than two months later, I thought finding more of that would help me make sense of why I was 16 and motherless.

Instead, I found a handful of truly beautiful and spiritual people among an ocean of hypocrisy, lies, condemnation, and judgment. And none of it made a lick of sense to me. And the less religious people made sense to me, the less religion made sense to me.

I remember going through a phase in college when I deeply researched mythology from a variety of cultures. Parallels between those mythologies and the bible stories I read and watched as a child were just overwhelming. And I began to see Christianity as a newer mythology.

I still believe in something, even if I’m not 100% certain of what that something is. I find beauty and power and love in the world around me and the energy that comes from that is my Higher Power. Sometimes I put labels on myself – Pagan, Agnostic, Unitarian Universalist . . . on occasions, Witch – but mostly, I’m just trying to live a decent life regardless of arbitrary labels, mine or others’.

~Dayle

Read Jared’s response: The Beginning of the Discussion on Religion, Not the End

2 Jan

What I understand about religion and what I don’t

Posted by Dayle Lynne in Religion. Tagged: , , , , , , , .

***Disclaimer – If you are offended by this post, I apologize. It’s not my intention. But it is how I feel. I have a deep respect for all belief systems. What I am questioning here are those extremist views that do not allow people to open their minds to the beliefs of others. This is not an attack on religion itself, just a rambling on what I don’t understand about many religions.***

Religion, spirituality, faith, and belief are all things I think about often. It’s taken me many years to come to a place of understanding within myself, to be comfortable with my own belief system. And I am quite certain that where I am today, is not where I will be years from now.

In my quest for spiritual fulfillment, I have come to understand many things about religion . . . And I have come to accept that there are many things that I will never understand. I have always been over analytical. I have always searched for what was the most logical – though I admit, my logic does not always mesh with that of the masses.

It did not take long for me to discover many devout people of many different faiths, and through those people I discovered a paradox of sorts. I can take 10 devout people of 10 different religions and each one will tell you that he or she *knows* his or her religion is the one and only true path. It’s not a belief. It’s knowledge. But if one of them is right, the other nine must be wrong.

So, is there one true religion? Is there one faith that is the only way to salvation?

That concept just does not make sense to me.

I cannot believe that good people will suffer for all eternity because they believe in something different. And honestly, it kind of bothers me that I have good friends and family members who believe I’m going to hell.

I’m curious as to what makes modern religion any different from the polytheistic religions we now call mythology. One day, thousands of years from now, will these “modern” religions be mythologies as well?

I find it interesting that many believe the first human evil was eating fruit from the tree of knowledge. That idea alone speaks volumes to me about the nature of religion.

We didn’t really go to church when I was a kid, but it was pretty much known that we were Christian. I was never taught to believe a certain thing, but allowed to develop my beliefs on my own. I value that.

I decided very early on that church didn’t make sense to me . . . well, that the whole “you *have* to go to church” thing didn’t make sense to me. My philosophy since childhood was if God created the world and man made a building, how could a building be God’s home? Wouldn’t it be easier to connect with God in nature?

That later developed into – you said God is everywhere, so why do I have to worship him inside of a church? Can’t I do that, you know, anywhere?

Maybe it’s my own naivety, but I find all of the fighting over religious differences stupid.

I don’t think religious belief is a choice. People believe what they believe based upon their own experiences. If my experiences lead me to beliefs that do not match someone else’s, why does that mean one of us has to be wrong?

I can’t understand how a “loving” God would damn at least 2/3 of the world’s population. (Considering that Christianity is the world’s largest religion with 33% of the world’s population being Christian . . . If Christianity were the one true path – not taking into account that many Christian denominations believe that all other Christian denominations are wrong – then 66% of the population would be damned.)

God loves you . . . do what He says or go to Hell. God loves you unconditionally . . . but He’s okay with you burning for all eternity. God is wonderful . . . but it doesn’t matter that you spent your life rescuing stray kittens and volunteering at the senior citizen’s home, if you don’t believe such and such, your soul is damned.

It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Here’s what does make sense to me . . . Many people around the world believe many different things and all at varying levels. And none of them need to be wrong. If a higher power exists, I think he or she or it would want to see good people doing good things, regardless of specific beliefs.

“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That is my religion.” ~Abraham Lincoln

14 Aug

Do your job or find a new one

Posted by Dayle Lynne in Politics. Tagged: , , , , .

I haven’t written about gay marriage in a while . . . everyone who knows me, pretty much knows how I feel about the subject, so I don’t typically find a need to blog about it. But I came across this article the other day and it pretty much pissed me off.

Apparently, a NY town clerk wants to be able to delegate the task of signing same-sex marriage certificates to a deputy because her religious beliefs oppose same-sex marriage.

On one hand, I feel like it’s splitting hairs. As long as the marriage certificates get signed, I doubt many people really care who signs them. However, at what point does this end? What if the deputy opposed same-sex marriage too?

I’m sorry, but if you have a religious objection to something that is a part of your job, either get over it or get a new effing job!

If you don’t believe that same-sex relationships are moral, good for you. I respect your right to believe as you do. But how that conflicts with your job duties is not my problem, nor is it the problem any same-sex couple waiting for their signed marriage certificates. I’ve known Muslims who worked in restaurants and served pork. Should they have asked to “delegate” any pork related meals to a non-Muslim employee?

If she had a religious objection to interracial marriage (there are those who do), and she wanted to delegate signing the marriage certificates of interracial couples, this wouldn’t even be a discussion. She’d have been let go the second that request left her lips.

Everyone has their own set of priorities. If your religious beliefs outweigh your need for your job, quit. Otherwise, do what the taxpayers (um, yeah, even the gay ones) are paying you to do!

9 Apr

Today’s yard sale: More than a financial profit

Posted by Dayle Lynne in Life. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , .

I’m inherently a recluse. I am perfectly content to go about my business and come home and stay there. Maybe it’s because I’ve moved so much (current count is 19 times), but I just have very little need to know my neighbors. Every so often, however, things come up that get me out and social with those on my block . . . and I always enjoy it. Today was one of those days.

Money has gotten a little tight lately, as I’m sure many people can relate to. Last week Kes and I decided to organize a yard sale. In one week we gathered a ridiculous number of things from around the house, cleaned them, replaced the batteries, and priced them. We posted a listing on Craigslist, but didn’t put any signs up until this morning because it rained all day yesterday. I woke up and saw the sun shining and couldn’t wait to get outside and sell, sell, sell! And we did. We made well over our goal, but that wasn’t the best part of the day.

I met a woman and her daughter from across the street. The daughter has a little girl who’s 3 years old. The little girl will be enjoying some of Abby’s old toys.

I met a woman walking her adorable dog. I played with the pup while she gave me advice on adopting from the SPCA.

We had a really nice talk with a Jehovah’s Witness woman who was walking by. I admit that I typically avoid the JWs when I’m walking down the street. Kes is a former JW, so anything I want to know, I tend to ask him. But belief differences aside, it was a really interesting conversation, and I enjoyed it. She hasn’t changed my beliefs, and while I never say never, the odds are pretty high that she never will. What she did do is give me an interest in learning about a religion that I’ve never been interested in learning about before. In fact, I’m actually seriously considering attending the Lord’s Evening Meal that she invited us to.

I spent a half an hour talking to one of the 4 brothers who live a couple of doors down. I learned that they moved here with their parents just 4 months ago from Iraq. This boy and his brothers hung out with us on and off throughout the day. When it came time to clean up, two of the boys just started grabbing things and helping us put them away. There were certainly some language barriers, and by the time we packed up I was wishing I knew Arabic. These kids, all of them, are some of the sweetest, most well-behaved, respectful kids that I have ever met.

We met an outstanding future businessman. This kid wanted a pack of Pokémon cards that we were selling for $5, but he didn’t have any money. So he said to Kes, “If I get 5 people to come here and buy something, will you give me a pack of Pokémon cards?” Of course, Kes agreed. When I found out about their deal and saw the kid working his pitch on every neighbor he saw, I was totally prepared to give up the cards either way. But sure enough, he came through with 5 customers, putting an extra $15 in our pockets. And he walked home with his cards.

We met a woman, her daughter, and her 1-year-old granddaughter from down the street. They bought Abby’s old Dora kitchen and the little girl loved it! They came back later and the little girl was holding a spoon from the kitchen set. It felt really good to see someone enjoying something that’s been collecting dust in my basement for 2 years.

It’s been a fabulous day, and I’m grateful not just for the money but for the experiences as well.

9 Feb

Exploitation of religious beliefs from a dating service

Posted by Dayle Lynne in Media, Religion. Tagged: , , , , .

While watching T.V. tonight, a commercial for a Christian dating service came on. The ad started, “You’re single, you’re Christian, and you’re looking for a meaningful relationship. Find God’s match for you at christianmingle.com.” First, I think a Christian dating service is a good idea. For people who very devout in their faith, it makes sense that they would want to meet others with the same belief system. I get that. My problem is with the line, “find God’s match for you.”

I don’t care which way you spin it, a dating service is a business. Christians need to make money too. There’s nothing wrong with that. Reeling people in with the idea that their matches are of divine intervention could be considered brilliant advertising. I call it morally and ethically deplorable.

It is an online dating service. Let me repeat that. It is an online dating service. It’s no different from any other. I am sure there are some wonderful people truly looking for the loves of their lives there. I am also sure there are a whole lot of people who misrepresent themselves and outright lie about who they are. There is no heavenly power directing you to your future spouse.

I read a lot of reviews of the site from several different sources. The overall consensus is pretty negative. The impression seems to be that because it is a Christian site, that there will be more trustworthy people. I guarantee you that dishonest people don’t limit themselves to non-religious sites.

Please, christianmingle.com just advertise for what you are: a place for Christians to meet other Christians. Saying that this is a place to find God’s match for you is right on par with the claims of psychic networks.

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